From the time we are born and mature into young adults we seem to carry this notion of expectation from one person or the other. It could be a brother,sister friend or a parent but nevertheless the point is each day, everyday we expect something out of that person. It could in reciprocation of something that you did or just purely an out of the blue expectation that they will take a bullet for you. 

I know this sounds crazy and brazen on some level. The truth is, that’s exactly what it is. I’m not going to sound idealistic and revoke the statement. I’m not going to say that it’s okay for you to expect or that it’s completely legitimate, because the truth is  this is only your point of view. You feel this way, not the other way around.

You naturally are going to think that you sacrificed so much and gave away a part of yourself to them. You fought unnecessary battles and stood by them even when they behaved like a raging lunatic. So somewhere unconsciously in your head you start to think that maybe they will repay the favor one day. They have your back and all that superficial stuff that people sometimes say without meaning it.But the true culprit here is your head, your mind playing tricks on you. The fact that you cry during an episode of grey’s anatomy during a MerDer moment doesn’t exactly speak laurels about your emotional stability or your the fact that you’re as sensitive as a moth is to light. Being a girl only tends to exacerbate your problems. Cue the self-pity and depressing music. Pretty cliche huh? What can i say, we all have our cliche moments and sometimes you just cant live life without them!

Over analyzing  is only the tip of the iceberg, something most girls excel in. You start over-analyzing ever small minute detail and deduce what that possibly could have meant. In my opinion you know what would be easier? To simply be emotionally stunted - it’s far less complex and usually you don’t really give a crap about anyone. I see where that could have it’s own issues, but hey atleast you’re not listening to ‘What can i say’ constantly convincing yourself that people don’t care loading the apathy and self-pity one on top of the other till you reach the saturation point.

I’m not saying this is wrong because we all have our days, and then we don’t sometimes. We’re not expected to be happy glowy people 365 days of the year. So to prove a point i’m going out on a limb and saying that most people who react like this shouldn’t blame themselves, but at the same time the best idea is probably not to shut everyone out. Because guess what, i can mentally envisage a time maybe 10 years down the line and it doesn’t look great. Your hair’s fallen out, you have stretch marks everywhere your best friend is a slice of pizza and your 10 year old cat. There are zero messages on your answering machine and no one’s bothered to ring you in days. That speaks for itself doesn’t it?

Now i know i had a point when i started writing this which is, as much as you tell yourself that you’re not going to have expectations the next time and be completely cold hearted you’re back to crying and inhaling an enormous tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Do yourself a favor and if it’s something you want to get out in the open just tell the other person - it’s as simple as that! Someone who you’re close enough to share a house with them i’m guessing telling them what you wanted wouldn’t hurt. Because how i look at it , it will probably  go down in one or two ways - you hug it out and resolve your issues or the more ‘fun’ option - you fight more and continue your cold war just as before. So telling the other person actually may things better or if you extremely unlucky it’s going to stay just about the same.

All this can hold true only if the other person is as rational. This is otherwise, in Joey’s words - ’ a moo point’. You both make valid points and each one is heard ( unlike India’s democracy i’m afraid). So then there you go, problem resolved. If not, well what can i say? 

You’re screwed love.

  

I am not a glowy, happy person,contradictory as that statement is to the very title of my blog.

496 notes
  

howdoiputthisgently:

I’m sure D agrees!

  

The world would be too simple a place if all that was separating you and me was a 20 hour plane ride.
We have to introduce obstacles don’t we?
Complexities like air fare and visas and accommodation and so on and so forth.

I continue to stress that were I a purist I wouldn’t have to deal with all these complexities. But then again if I was Amish I wouldn’t even recall the word internet let alone my precious Tumblr.

  

Cutting my hair for the first time after sensational lena in Philly.
You better not make me regret it toni and guy, you know how precious my hair is to me.

  

I want it so bad.
So bad.
That I would do anything for it.
Even pray to a god I don’t believe in to make it happen.
But I’m going to be a realist, or in other people’s words - a pessimist.
I know its not going to happen. I just do.
Why?
Easy enough.
Because its me.